I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
