Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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