I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
