You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
