i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
