my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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