why didn't you poke me back
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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