I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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