So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
