You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
