Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
