Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Randomize
