he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10