I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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