that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
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I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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