EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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