its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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