A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
