i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
