Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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