I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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