I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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