I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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