The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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