If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
