Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
