I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
