Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
