careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
