I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
