i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize