try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
