Got a toothbrush?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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