i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
