I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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