I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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