I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
did i walk over a car last night?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
