what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
