Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
