I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
