You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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