My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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