Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
