When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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