found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
