new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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