drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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