3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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