If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Damn victory sex feels great
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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