I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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