This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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