"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
