i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
