HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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