when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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