I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
