I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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